RANT CORNER

[Trader Pat]

Grumpy Old Men was on the tv the other day and I instantly thought of this thread

[firlandsfarm]

I never thought of that. So even if the guy in Lidl used the tongs to get his pizza it still wouldn't be safe, I'd have to trust his hygiene and that of everybody who touched the tong that day!

For a moment there I thought you were going to suggest he used tongs for something else!!

[Jukebox]

Your new automation file 1.0 has been running all day and you're eager to see how it performed.
Small profit - promising but not enough to justify the risk encountered.
Analyse the data - spot some things that could be cut out.
Copy the file and tweak the changes
Save file new as 1.1
Attach file to all markets for following day.
Your new automation file has been running all day and you're eager to see how it performed.
Great profit - great tweaking!.
Analyse the data - spot some orders were placed that should have been cut out.
Notice that 1.0 has been running all day!

[NickH]

Haha, imagine what it would be like with 1.1!

[Derek27]

Why do cats knock objects off tables and then look at you as though it's your fault for putting it there?

[gazuty]

Why do cats knock objects off tables and then look at you as though it's your fault for putting it there?

I saw a bumper sticker that answers this question. "Dogs have owners, cats have staff".

[Derek27]

This guy could work for Betfair :

Derek : I was informed with my signup email that I can have my fixed direct debit switched to one that charges for exactly what I use, but I can't find how to do that on the website?
Colin (not his real name) : Hi Derek, hope you're well today. I'm Colin , I'll check your account ASAP and help you.
Colin : Thanks. Derek I found that already Direct Debit is set up in your account. Your first Direct Debit payment date is on £16 July 2020.
Derek : Did you not read my question? I was informed you can have a fixed DD switched to a DD that charges for exactly what you've used?
Derek : Are you still there?
Colin : Yes I'm here.
Colin : Yes I understood Derek.
Colin : I'll explain you.
Colin : Direct Debit is a system calculated amount which get reviewed based on your actual usage and taking the account balance in consideration.
Like we collect the amount every month which get accumulated in your account balance as credit balance. After the quarterly bill that credit balance get adjusted with your bill amount. Once it adjusted we check your account balance if it is in credit or debit. If its in credit then we inform or suggest you that if you want you can reduce your Direct Debit because you're paying more.

But on the other hand if your account balance is in debit debit, which the amount which you're paying is not covering your usage then we suggest you that to increase it so that you can cover your outstanding balance and current usage.
Colin : So currently you're just switching to us we'll get your usage pattern once your account gets billed in 09 September 2020.
Derek : For fuck's sake, I'm not asking you to explain what a DD is. I'm just asking, do you have a system where you get charged each month for precicely what you've used, calculated with a meter reading?
Derek : I'm well aware of how DDs work
Derek : This is what I was led to believe when I joined.
Colin : Derek this is a professional chat [ ] I would request you not to use profanities or else I need to disconnect the chat. I've explained you already. Direct Debit amount can't be fixed for the entire year it;ll vary based on usage and account balance.
Derek : Yes, but that's not the question I'm asking is it?
Derek : If you don't do variable meter reading based direct debits just say so!
Colin : What do you mean by you can have a fixed DD switched to a DD that charges for exactly what you've used?
Derek : I mean a bill is generated based on meter readings and then the exact bill total gets debited from your account each month or quarter, rather than a fixed amount each month based on estimates.
Colin : As per the Fixed Direct Debit payment method your account will get billed in every quarter not monthly.
Colin : That's the reason I've explained you how Fixed Direct Debit works.
Colin : I've explained you that we'll collect the amount every month which get accumulated in your account balance as credit balance. After the quarterly bill that credit balance get adjusted with your bill amount.
Derek : For the last flipping time, I'm not asking you how a flipping DD works - fuck off!
Colin : Sorry Derek I need to disconnect the chat as you've used such profanities. Please check the message which I've explained you.
Colin : I've already explained that your account will get quarterly.

[ShaunWhite]

I always thought a fixed payment was called a Standing Order and DDs were variable.

[greenmark]

This guy could work for Betfair :

Derek : I was informed with my signup email that I can have my fixed direct debit switched to one that charges for exactly what I use, but I can't find how to do that on the website?
Colin (not his real name) : Hi Derek, hope you're well today. I'm Colin , I'll check your account ASAP and help you.
Colin : Thanks. Derek I found that already Direct Debit is set up in your account. Your first Direct Debit payment date is on £16 July 2020.
Derek : Did you not read my question? I was informed you can have a fixed DD switched to a DD that charges for exactly what you've used?
Derek : Are you still there?
Colin : Yes I'm here.
Colin : Yes I understood Derek.
Colin : I'll explain you.
Colin : Direct Debit is a system calculated amount which get reviewed based on your actual usage and taking the account balance in consideration.
Like we collect the amount every month which get accumulated in your account balance as credit balance. After the quarterly bill that credit balance get adjusted with your bill amount. Once it adjusted we check your account balance if it is in credit or debit. If its in credit then we inform or suggest you that if you want you can reduce your Direct Debit because you're paying more.

But on the other hand if your account balance is in debit debit, which the amount which you're paying is not covering your usage then we suggest you that to increase it so that you can cover your outstanding balance and current usage.
Colin : So currently you're just switching to us we'll get your usage pattern once your account gets billed in 09 September 2020.
Derek : For fuck's sake, I'm not asking you to explain what a DD is. I'm just asking, do you have a system where you get charged each month for precicely what you've used, calculated with a meter reading?
Derek : I'm well aware of how DDs work
Derek : This is what I was led to believe when I joined.
Colin : Derek this is a professional chat [ ] I would request you not to use profanities or else I need to disconnect the chat. I've explained you already. Direct Debit amount can't be fixed for the entire year it;ll vary based on usage and account balance.
Derek : Yes, but that's not the question I'm asking is it?
Derek : If you don't do variable meter reading based direct debits just say so!
Colin : What do you mean by you can have a fixed DD switched to a DD that charges for exactly what you've used?
Derek : I mean a bill is generated based on meter readings and then the exact bill total gets debited from your account each month or quarter, rather than a fixed amount each month based on estimates.
Colin : As per the Fixed Direct Debit payment method your account will get billed in every quarter not monthly.
Colin : That's the reason I've explained you how Fixed Direct Debit works.
Colin : I've explained you that we'll collect the amount every month which get accumulated in your account balance as credit balance. After the quarterly bill that credit balance get adjusted with your bill amount.
Derek : For the last flipping time, I'm not asking you how a flipping DD works - fuck off!
Colin : Sorry Derek I need to disconnect the chat as you've used such profanities. Please check the message which I've explained you.
Colin : I've already explained that your account will get quarterly.

Blimey, and I thought my dialogues with BT customer service were bad!
A word to the wise though, swearing at anybody is not going to help. I know its hard when confronted by corporately trained cynicism, you just need to rise above it. Or do what I do and go out to the garage and hit the punchbag.
Chill out Derek! If you can in this cauldren.

[jamesg46]

This guy could work for Betfair :

Derek : I was informed with my signup email that I can have my fixed direct debit switched to one that charges for exactly what I use, but I can't find how to do that on the website?
Colin (not his real name) : Hi Derek, hope you're well today. I'm Colin , I'll check your account ASAP and help you.
Colin : Thanks. Derek I found that already Direct Debit is set up in your account. Your first Direct Debit payment date is on £16 July 2020.
Derek : Did you not read my question? I was informed you can have a fixed DD switched to a DD that charges for exactly what you've used?
Derek : Are you still there?
Colin : Yes I'm here.
Colin : Yes I understood Derek.
Colin : I'll explain you.
Colin : Direct Debit is a system calculated amount which get reviewed based on your actual usage and taking the account balance in consideration.
Like we collect the amount every month which get accumulated in your account balance as credit balance. After the quarterly bill that credit balance get adjusted with your bill amount. Once it adjusted we check your account balance if it is in credit or debit. If its in credit then we inform or suggest you that if you want you can reduce your Direct Debit because you're paying more.

But on the other hand if your account balance is in debit debit, which the amount which you're paying is not covering your usage then we suggest you that to increase it so that you can cover your outstanding balance and current usage.
Colin : So currently you're just switching to us we'll get your usage pattern once your account gets billed in 09 September 2020.
Derek : For fuck's sake, I'm not asking you to explain what a DD is. I'm just asking, do you have a system where you get charged each month for precicely what you've used, calculated with a meter reading?
Derek : I'm well aware of how DDs work
Derek : This is what I was led to believe when I joined.
Colin : Derek this is a professional chat [ ] I would request you not to use profanities or else I need to disconnect the chat. I've explained you already. Direct Debit amount can't be fixed for the entire year it;ll vary based on usage and account balance.
Derek : Yes, but that's not the question I'm asking is it?
Derek : If you don't do variable meter reading based direct debits just say so!
Colin : What do you mean by you can have a fixed DD switched to a DD that charges for exactly what you've used?
Derek : I mean a bill is generated based on meter readings and then the exact bill total gets debited from your account each month or quarter, rather than a fixed amount each month based on estimates.
Colin : As per the Fixed Direct Debit payment method your account will get billed in every quarter not monthly.
Colin : That's the reason I've explained you how Fixed Direct Debit works.
Colin : I've explained you that we'll collect the amount every month which get accumulated in your account balance as credit balance. After the quarterly bill that credit balance get adjusted with your bill amount.
Derek : For the last flipping time, I'm not asking you how a flipping DD works - fuck off!
Colin : Sorry Derek I need to disconnect the chat as you've used such profanities. Please check the message which I've explained you.
Colin : I've already explained that your account will get quarterly.

Blimey, and I thought my dialogues with BT customer service were bad!
A word to the wise though, swearing at anybody is not going to help. I know its hard when confronted by corporately trained cynicism, you just need to rise above it. Or do what I do and go out to the garage and hit the punchbag.
Chill out Derek! If you can in this cauldren.

+1

[Derek27]

I always thought a fixed payment was called a Standing Order and DDs were variable.

A fixed direct debit is where they take a fixed amount out to try to balance your summer/winter payments and adjust it occasionally depending on how much energy you use. I'd much rather pay for what I've used, it's cleaner and takes less time checking that they're not fiddling you.

I phoned after that chat and got transferred to a variable quarterly DD without any problem. She apologised for the chat issue I had and said she'd raise the issue with his manager. I'm not asking for him to be sacked, just retrained and a review of recruitment procedures, perhaps a simple test to see if they're capable of understanding and answering simple questions.

[greenmark]

I always thought a fixed payment was called a Standing Order and DDs were variable.

A fixed direct debit is where they take a fixed amount out to try to balance your summer/winter payments and adjust it occasionally depending on how much energy you use. I'd much rather pay for what I've used, it's cleaner and takes less time checking that they're not fiddling you.

I phoned after that chat and got transferred to a variable quarterly DD without any problem. She apologised for the chat issue I had and said she'd raise the issue with his manager. I'm not asking for him to be sacked, just retrained and a review of recruitment procedures, perhaps a simple test to see if they're capable of understanding and answering simple questions.

Restrained? You mean strapped to a chair and have his genitals in a bap for a hungry cocker spaniel?

[eightbo]

Derek : For the last flipping time, I'm not asking you how a flipping DD works - fuck off!
Colin : Sorry Derek I need to disconnect the chat as you've used such profanities. Please check the message which I've explained you.

how do you keep your cool when trading ?

[Derek27]

Derek : For the last flipping time, I'm not asking you how a flipping DD works - fuck off!
Colin : Sorry Derek I need to disconnect the chat as you've used such profanities. Please check the message which I've explained you.

how do you keep your cool when trading ?

Fortunately I don't have to put up with people like him while trading but penny shavers do make my blood boil.

[eightbo]

it's probably Colin shaving your pennies